Bitter Retribution
by The Eternity Dragon
Summary: Light is about to find that mind games played in the middle of the night interwoven with his nightmares will lead to something he never would have suspected to happen between him and Ryuuzaki...strong content you have been warned!


Bitter Retribution

By The Eternity Dragon

Disclaimer: …..o..0;

Author's note: I have always avoided trying to write a death note fanfiction, because somehow I believe I lack the skills to write a decent Light/L pairing (as if there is any other in DN!) There is always the question Light seme or uke? (Dominant or submissive) personally I like Light being dominant, because he is an ego maniac, but L also seems to me to be a…on top…kind of person. So I settle for this garbled version which could easily be a one shot or maybe something more it depends of what you think and I feel I guess, so why don't you take it from here and decide if it makes any sense what so ever (and I apologise if it doesn't!) I just really needed to get this out of my system.

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You remember the first time it happens don't you, you always remember the first time it happened, that bitter sweet emotion you wanted and could, shouldn't have.

That's how it was the first time, for no real purpose or ending, just a feeling, or even a by product of boredom, being next to someone around the clock, lying away in bed and listening to them breathing, the slow dilation and breath and then the sharp intake.

It had been like that for what seemed ages, by the time Light finally managed to drive Ryuuzaki into bed he couldn't sleep, his mind stayed stubbornly awake for hours afterwards not wanting to slip into dreams, no thoughts passing consciously to and fro inside his mind like stagnant water pilling up behind a dam. The whole situation was ridiculous really, no he was wrong; it was stupid, hilariously and cruelly so; the man sleeping beside him believed him Yagami Light, the son of a police head chief to be Kira, a soulless, self obsessed ego manic and murderer to boot. And only on the slim chance of fifteen percent, and for this minority number his freedom, his integrity and perhaps to some extend his sanity had been compromised. Ryuuzaki was….enigmatic in one way, curiously endearing in another, frustratingly obstinate and dangerously astute, mixed in with a partiality for sweet things, no sense of personal space…and perhaps worst of all a sloppy dresser. It drove him simply mad to be- attached- to this man, twenty four seven, he couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't even take a shit alone without someone on the other end asking him to 'hurry up please'. Everything he did was beneath Ryuuzaki's scrutinizing, analytic gaze, it was beyond annoying, driving into the brink of interminable madness and perhaps final the curtains of his finely composed outer composition were slowly beginning to draw back, to reveal a more nervous, a more volatile and a less patient side to himself. Not something he was sure he quite liked, comparing himself now to what he had been a few months ago, there seemed almost something different about his face. The dark dangerous look in his eyes had gone, only to be replaced by a softening in his brown irises ringed by the soft fronds of his hair, but perhaps he had just imagined it, like he had imagined the voices in his head and that great blue thing with the yellow staring eyes and bat like wings that had come at him from out a solid wall in one of his nightmares.

"Reapers love apples," it had said, giggling and rocking backwards and forwards on the mantelpiece throwing the clock high in the air as it chimed quarter past two in the morning.

"Didn't you know?" it had hollered at him, standing on its head before sliding back into the wall from whence it had came, its leering eyes fading last into the solid plaster before he had woken up drenched and sweating, his heart palpitating so fast inside his chest he was sure it would burst.

"Yagami-kun," L had muttered drowsily from somewhere to his left, "go back to sleep."

It had been alright for him, Light had supposed, he wasn't the one who had the nightmares, faceless people who called out to him from the depths of nothing, screaming obscenities of defying God and befouling the earth. On a good day he would wake up in a cold sweat shaking and almost crying with relief and terror for those nameless things and the blood stench that had somehow coiled itself about his lungs. On a bad day, the nightmare would just go on and on, ceaseless, mindless, bloody and bleeding beyond words as bones, husks of flesh and carnage littered black sinking walls that caved in about his head dragging him backwards into the dark.

It was on one such night when it happened, finally after fourteen straight hours of work, Ryuuzaki had finally been persuaded to take to bed, where after a few moments after complaining about 'time wasters' he had flopped against the pillow and his breathing slowed and stilled to deep slumber.

Light lay just breathing, not daring to close his eyes for the sensation that he wanted the most and yet denied to himself for trepidation of yet more horrors, he knew it was coming, he couldn't fight it, lying awake and staring listlessly at the ceiling, sleep pulled down his eye lids with merciless fingers, smothering her long hair over him into drowsiness. He muttered something, a half murmur of fear and un-wanting, he felt Ryuuzaki turn over onto his side to face him, but sleep pulling him under allowed no more sensations to be felt, and for a while he was numb to everything.

There, in a place where there is no living he visited again, with silent feet, like a huge empty dome, seemingly empty, until you stand, bared naked before a pillar of glass and then stare upwards to find you are not alone, that all the corpses of the dead are strung above you in hideous, grotesque shapes, whilst paper pours through an hourglass like time.

Someone laughs, and mouth-less words shape and form themselves,

"Don't imagine that you will go to either heaven or hell." followed by a ravenous chuckling that seems to drain sound and light simultaneously, "Where you will go even God's death angels cannot follow."

Light opens his mouth like he had done a thousand times before, not in denial, calculation or acceptance, but in hatred of himself and that place, here he knows the nightmare gets worse, the pillar will open to reveal hundreds of limbless hands, rotting and blindly groping forwards as they drag themselves sightless and ravenous towards him.

"Every night Yagami-kun, don't you think this is beyond absurd?" The voice in his ear slides down his neck to rise into that place inside his mind that always drives him mad.

Drowsily, unfocused Light opens his eyes, he's shaking again and he knows it, those dark obsidian eyes, curiously accentuated by the darkness of his rims seem to peer straight into that nightmare where he is standing naked before some God of judgment. He turns his head away, ashamed and disgusted with his lack of control.

To his surprise Ryuuzaki pulls him back, one long fingered hand resting lightly on his right forearm where it seems to burn relentlessly into his skin.

"Don't you think this is absurd?" he repeats again, those eyes, even darker in the dim light, Light's breath catches momentarily in his chest as some dark emotion seems to swim through his gut and rest deep inside his lower abdomen.

"Absolutely absurd." he echoes back and in half surprise, half expectation feels Ryuuzaki's warm, lean, broad body slide over him, so he's staring up into those dark voids of astute control, he's never seen Ryuuzaki loose control ever; some subconscious part of him would like to see a vulnerable L, something more human, laid down bare, naked and trembling before that dark glass alter.

They both know what is coming; they both knew it from the moment the metal handcuffs clicked smoothly into place.

It starts slowly, those dark inscrutable eyes looking straight down at him as he reaches up to lace his fingers about that black mop of untidy hair, strangely soft to the touch, and clean as it trails about his fingers. The weight presses against his chest as Ryuuzaki works his way down, in no hurry, his long sensual fingers moving across skin and torso and removing the thin fabric. He wants it lower, and then higher, the fingers are light and teasing but there is no urgency in the heat, he wants something else but doesn't know what, losing the words in which to say it with. And for a moment he forgets who he is, what it was and what it looked like in raw sensation which ripples through him in a current. When his breathing is shallow, ragged in his chest, one arm draped heavily across his forehead he looks up, to see that same dark, unfathomable expression in Ryuuzaki's eyes, darkly sadistic and hungry.

"So fast?" he asks callously, "Yagami-kun, you've become so impatiently recently." There in the mouth there is a dark flicker of humour, "I'd have expected you to have held out much longer."

If he had missed the smile before he could not miss it now, his own mouth dry as he watch Ryuuzaki, who surveyed him with that impassive hungry look, with the words, "I'll guess we'll do it this way." Before the movement, the sudden hurt and pain, and then something harder that caused him to bite down on his lower lip in that abrupt sensation of intense ecstasy and pain. His mouth remained dry as his nails drove rigid into the sheets beneath him and he cried out as the ripples became that stronger current and moved through him at a blinding speed, and then, nothing.

It was only the next morning, when the alarm buzzed at some ungodly hour did his eyes opened again, to find Ryuuzaki on his back, hands behind his head, eyes open and carefully regarding the paintwork of the ceiling.

But it was only when Light on bending over to retrieve his nightshirt from the foot of the bed, paused, and realised that the nightmares had not comeback.

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Authors note: To anyone who has read Tempting Death, flay me alive in boiling oil I am sorry, but school work etc…means I can't seem to concentrate on a long going plot. I'm back to my good ol' angst…(which I never left in truth but this is the way I like it) and I have to admit I do love Ryuk he's easily my third favourite character with a wicked sense of style.

Yeah, so, IT MADE NO SENSE! (pulls at her hair) ;…; and anyone who's read past chapter 49 of DN, I weep with you, I weep with you!

(Blows nose)

Review?


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